Why he’s future faking you (and what to do about it!).
Wow! That date went really well!
He said something about getting married, then he blushed and looked embarrassed.
Or maybe, it’s not so cute.
We give you the low-down on future faking and why you shouldn’t let it sweep you off your feet.
What is Future Faking?
Future faking is all about dropping hints at a future together, way before it’s an appropriate time to do so, such as:
- Hinting at how cute your kids together would be.
- Telling you he’s never felt like this before about anyone.
- He jokes about having found his soulmate in you.
- He jokes about what kind of wedding you’re going to have together.
- He jokes about moving in.
Why He’s Future Faking You:
To Get You Into Bed.
If he makes you feel safe and special and wanted, you’re more likely to end up in bed with him.
Even if you haven’t explicitly stated that you’re only interested in a long-term relationship, most men presume this is the case anyway.
Don’t be surprised if he’s suddenly “not sure about a relationship” once he’s gotten what he’s after.
You’re an Option.
You are not the first girl he’s said this to … and you won’t be the last.
He’s planning on keeping you around for a while, without a real commitment. If he dangles the idea of marriage over your head, you’re more likely to put up with being casual.
Because you’ll believe that you’re more special to him than you really are.
Maybe he really does want to marry you … after the third date.
Future faking is never a real compliment, because they don’t know you yet.
He might want to marry you … but he’ll probably marry anyone.
He’s Feeling That Oxytocin.
Oxytocin is that nice bonding hormone that floods your system when you’re first dating someone.
Have you ever dated someone who was so passionate in the first six months but then it just, sort of, died off?
You can’t really trust much of what he says during those first few months. They say love is the drug for a reason and that reason is called oxytocin.
He’s Trying to Get You Hooked on Him.
It feels nice when someone’s crazy about you. Makes you feel special.
By making you feel like you might have a future together, he’s planting that seed in your imagination so that you can start fantasising about that wedding!
It’s a lot harder to let go of someone when you’ve already given them space in your heart forever.
He Loves the Ego Boost.
That space in your heart you reserved for him? That’s going to affect the way you treat him.
Suddenly, he’s not just that guy you’re dating but potentially ‘the one’.
And how do you treat ‘the one’, when you’re scared of losing them? You might end up losing your self-respect by chasing after the dream he gave you but never believed in himself.
He’s a People Pleaser.
Some people simply have trouble telling others what they don’t want to hear. Or not telling them what they want to hear.
But people pleasers aren’t actually trying to make you happy.
People pleasers are just trying to avoid conflict by removing themselves from awkward situations. This usually ends up creating a far bigger problem in the end.
What to Do if Your Date is Future Faking You.
Future faking is a red flag for a reason. He doesn’t respect you.
Start getting over that fantasy that’s never going to materialise to make room for the one that will.
Future faking is at best, an act of desperation and at worst, an act of manipulation.
If he’s hinting about a future together and it feels too soon, then it probably is.
Trust your instincts.