Man laughing next to red flags.
Laughing with you is hot, laughing at you is not.

Why It’s Time to Re-Evaluate Your Relationship If He Laughs at You In The Bedroom.

It’s time to ask yourself whether he’s laughing WITH you, or AT you.

Here are five reasons it’s a dating red flag if he laughs at you in the bedroom.

He Laughs at Your Body.

Silhouette of woman's body.
Photo by Deb Kennedy on Unsplash

This one is really uncompromisable. If he laughs at your naked body, he is literally just trying to hurt your confidence. He might be a narcissist who wants to control you, or he might be so insecure that he wants to bring you down to his level and remind you that you can’t do any better (by the way, you totally can!).

Be especially wary if he laughs at the parts of your body you’ve told him you feel insecure about. A decent man will doing anything he can to make you feel less insecure about those areas. Got cellulite on your thighs (who hasn’t?), he should be kissing them all over. Worried about stretch marks (you shouldn’t be, everyone has them!), he should trace them with his fingers and tell you how beautiful you are.

How would he feel if you laughed at the body parts of his that he doesn’t like so much? If you laughed at his manhood? Would he take it? No. So hold your partners to the same standards and don’t put up with anyone who makes you feel bad.

Side note: if he EVER laughs at your vulva or tells you it’s ugly, you need to dump him yesterday.

He Laughs You Into Your Comfort Zone.

Mannequin wearing lingerie in a museum.
Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

You want to try something new?

Nerve-wracking, isn’t it?

If you want to try something out of your comfort zone, something that makes you feel a bit embarrassed but you want to give it a go, your partner should be GRATEFUL. (As long as you’re not doing it just to please him. You should NEVER do that and he shouldn’t expect you to.)

If you worked yourself up to try something new and he just laughs at you, he doesn’t deserve sex at all.

He Tries to Embarrass You.

Woman hiding under her bedsheets.

There’s a huge difference between laughing with you and laughing at you. Don’t get it confused.


Sex is messy. And Loud. Sometimes it’s the wrong kind of loud. Sometimes you fart from the back, sometimes you fart from the front. Some positions make it much more likely to fart from the front (I’m looking at you doggy!).

It is so important that you can laugh at these things together (if he can’t laugh at all at a fanny fart then that’s a red flag in itself), but make sure that you’re laughing TOGETHER.

And that he understands female anatomy.

If he’s laughing at you to try to make you feel gross or stupid or unattractive, you should laugh him out the door.

He Laughs at Your Moves.

Woman dancing in the sand.

He’s got unrealistic expectations from … you guessed it … porn!

If he tries to make you feel boring, or awkward, or not good enough, he’s just playing games. Trying to hurt your confidence.

Which frightens you away from taking control. Which leaves him with the control.

You’ll soon notice that sex has become more about his wants and desires than yours.

He Laughs When You Initiate.

Man laughing.
Photo by Denis Agati on Unsplash

BONUS if he’s previously made you feel bad about not wanting it enough!

He wants to control sex. Not just what you do, but when you do it.

Most guys would be happy if their partners initiated, but yours seems to enjoy rejecting you.

It’s because rejecting you makes him feel powerful. (Of course, anyone is allowed to decline sex, but it’s about how he declines.)


You want a man to laugh WITH you in the bedroom. At all those embarrassing things that are an inevitable part of sex.

But if you start to feel like he’s laughing AT you, he’s trying to knock your confidence.

We don’t stand for that.