Cartoon sheep with red flags.

Have you ever had a guy order exactly the same thing as you from the menu?

If he never disagrees with you, he's manipulating you.

Not just one thing, but the starter, main, drink, and dessert?

It seemed great at first that you had so much in common. The same interests. The same values.

But does something feel a bit off?

Do you wish he’d disagree with you?

Does it feel like he’s just nodding at everything you say without any real opinions of his own?

Here are 5 reasons it’s a dating red flag if he doesn’t have his own opinions.

He’s Not Lived Enough.

Young boy walking in field.

Now, this isn’t so much to do with age (although we are NOT advocating dating older men), but rather life experience.

Maybe he doesn’t read widely. Maybe he’s never been abroad (except for a package holiday in Benidorm). Perhaps he’s still got all the same friends and interests from high school.

He might be a sweet guy. But if you’re looking for a life filled with adventure, the guy who can’t even order his own meal in a restaurant isn’t the one for you.

He’s Majorly Insecure.

He hasn’t found himself yet.

His main goal is to impress you. And he thinks that means he shouldn’t be himself.

It’s normal to be nervous on a date. We all want to impress the person we like. But not if it’s at the expense of being ourselves.

Whilst being insecure isn’t exactly an evil trait, it can cause a huge array of problematic behaviour in relationships. Controlling. Jealousy. Gaslighting. Negging.

Best to stay away and find someone who’s comfortable in their own skin.

He’s Desperate.

Sad pug looking up at owner.
Photo by Karin Hiselius on Unsplash

He will agree to anything.

To get a morsel of attention (and sex) from a woman.

Any woman.

Makes you feel special, doesn’t it?

He Can’t Be Bothered.

To put real effort into a conversation.

Does it even seem like he’s really listening to you? Or is he just nodding like one of those dashboard toys?

If he just goes along with everything you say, he might just be looking for the easiest and fastest way into your pants.

He’s Manipulating You.

Man's brown eye.
Photo by ahmed zid on Unsplash

Do not underestimate the manipulative intentions of some men.

He’s trying to make you feel special. Smart. Dominant. Powerful.

The ego boost it gives you to be right, when you’re used to men constantly trying to ‘correct’ you, makes you feel powerful. And sexy. And interesting. And, if he seems to have the same values as you … safe.

The safer you feel with him, the quicker you’re likely to sleep with him, and the bigger the shock will be when he turns out to be someone different.

He has used this trick before.


Whether it’s insecurity, or straight up manipulation, a man without an opinion is a massive dating red flag.

Don’t get sucked into the feeling that you ‘just click’.

Because it’s not reality.